To The Struggling Mom: Sometimes It's Not Enough

I’ve seen you at the store and at the school.  You’ve been at the playground, at the post office, and at the bus stop.  You’re hanging on by a thread, holding things together because they’re about to fall apart.

And you read those Facebook posts that everyone loves to share – those ones that tell you to hang in there, to stick with it because your kids are worth it and you are enough.

They’re warm and fuzzy and make you want to cry like a baby.  They’re validating and empowering and make you feel like Wonder Woman.

But sometimes, as hard as you try, you are not enough.  The effort — it’s not enough.

The truth — the real truth — is that none of us really are Wonder Woman.  There are days when we feel like it.  There are days when everything is going smoothly, when the kids are behaving and there are no catastrophes, shouting matches, or burnt meals.

And then there is every other day.  When our own shortcomings are magnified beyond belief and we feel like not only are we not enough right now, but we will never be enough.

And it’s true.  You are not enough.  I am not enough.

Our kids need more than a mom.  They need dads and grammas and grampas and friends and neighbours and all of the other adults that make a village.  We are not enough on our own.

Our kids need moms that find their strength outside of themselves, because our own strength will never be enough to raise little humans into responsible adults.

Our kids need moms who ask for help when they need it.  Moms who are not too proud to ask for advice about discipline, health and behavior.

They need moms who take care of themselves, moms who set aside a few minutes each morning to ask the God of the Universe for the patience to make it through just one more day.

Our kids need moms who will defer to the wisdom of others when it’s needed, when an issue is beyond our experience, and when others might know better.  And our kids need moms who will fight for them, even when “fighting” means working on bettering ourselves for a time, so that we can better parent our children later.

Our kids need moms that realize we are not enough on our own, that we need others to support us, pray for us, walk with us, guide us, and maybe even step in for us at times.

Because being a mother was never about being everything for our children — it’s about giving our children what they need to make it through each day and into the future. 

And friend, we are not enough.  We need each other.

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