Newsflash: I'm Short (and I'm okay with you not mentioning it)

My social media newsfeeds are a constant source of inspiration, encouragement, and … complaining.   The latest trend I’ve seen is pregnant women complaining about people commenting on their bodies: the size of their belly, how the baby has shifted, how they’re carrying, and how quickly they’ve lost the weight after the baby is born.

When I was pregnant, I loved the comments I received about how big the baby was getting, and how I looked.  Because it meant no one was pointing out how short I am.

Here’s the thing: pregnancy is a temporary thing.  Height, well, it’s with you forever.  Until you start to shrink.  And then you’re even shorter.

A friend introduced me to a song last night, written by Randy Newman, the same man who composed the scores to several (all?) of the Pixar films, a few more Disney movies, and several other movies you would recognize.  The song is called “Short People” and it’s pretty harsh.  But it’s funny, right?  Because it’s about short people.

Let’s try some of the lyrics with other adjectives instead of “short” and “little”. 

Here’s the first verse:

Fat People got no reason
Fat People got no reason
Fat People got no reason
To live

They got fat hands
  fat eyes
They walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got fat noses
And tiny fat teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty fat feet

Or, how about this:

Bald People got nobody
Bald People got nobody
Bald People got nobody
To love

They got bald baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick ’em up
Just to say hello
They got bald cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got bald voices
Goin’ peep, peep, peep

Still funny?  I really hope not.

All brought to you by the same man who wrote “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” … unless you’re short, apparently.

And you know, I’m old enough to be secure in my appearance when it comes to my height.  I’ve had enough tall women tell me they’re jealous of my height and enough men comment favourably on my tiny feet (but still, eww!) to know that being short isn’t all bad.

But do we really need to point it out every chance we get? 

I’m a measuring post for all (like, ALL) of the kids I know (and some I don’t).  Like being taller than me is a big accomplishment.  Hate to burst your bubble, but it’s really not.

And people I’ve known for years will still stand toe to toe with me and say things like “You really are short, aren’t you!”.

I watched someone hold a ruler to a fellow short person and tell them that they “just don’t measure up”. 

So pregnant women everywhere, take my advice.  Enjoy the fact that people are excited for your growing belly.  It means they can’t wait to meet your new bundle of joy!  Be proud of the fact that you are part of making the world a better place by bringing a new person into it.

Pregnancy only lasts for 40 weeks, and you’re really only showing for the last half of that.  If I could take that over a lifetime of people commenting on my appearance, I would.

Then again, maybe we could all just remember the Thumper Rule: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

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